THINGS THAT GRIND MY GEARS #1: PEOPLE WHO CAN’T USE A FOOTPATH

Footpaths exist everywhere, they are not a new invention and I can 100% guarantee that everyone has used one before. Why oh why must people then feel like they own all the space, ALL THE SPACE, when using them? So, I have some tips for those of you who cannot comprehend the concept of sharing.

1.   If walking with a group of two or more people, you will have to change formations when coming across people in the other directions. Do not hold three abreast, it’s rude. Someone/a few of you drop back to let others past.

2. If you’re in a couple, don’t walk with your arms around each other. It’s awkward and it looks that way. Holding hands still tells the world that you’re together and also allows you movement to accommodate others.

3. Depending on what part of the world that you come from, pick the side you use to drive in and stick to it. If in Australia, walk to the left hand side, if in the States, walk to the right. It works for everyone, you don’t need to do an awkward dance.

4. If you are a slow walker, once again pick a side and allow others to pass.

5. Stopping suddenly. I get this has to happen at points- you’ve forgotten something, your phone is ringing and you have to find it in your bag. For the love of god, move to the side to work it out. The middle of the walkway is not the place to do this.

6. Stopping on stairs. Technically still a walkway, don’t stop in the middle of a stair well or at the bottom of it to have a conversation. People still need to go up and down, don’t make them have to walk around as well. If they have to ask you to move, you’re being a douche.

Seriously people, it’s just common sense.

QUIT YOUR JOB, INVENT A TELEPORTER

In every work place there is someone that just really cannot stand to be there. They hate their daily life so much that it oozes out of their pores and diseases everyone around them. You know these people - the ones that grunt answers, the ones that shut doors a little more loudly than needed, the ones that complain about EVERYTHING. 

Don't be this person.

If you don't like your job, look for a new one. No one has chained you to that desk, if you don't don't like what you're doing, find something else. If it's the actual workplace getting you down, find a new one. If you have no other abilities to get another job, skill yourself up and get out there champ. If you have skills but are just too stuck in a rut to do anything about it, push yourself. Quit your job and invent that teleporter you always wanted to. 
This should be everyone’s goal, but especially yours... Teleporters are much better than whatever it is you are currently doing.

SOMETIMES ALCOHOL IS THE ANSWER. DON'T FIGHT IT.

Drinking is fun. A lot of people will try and tell you otherwise and a lot of people will try and tell you, you shouldn't drink so much. But sometimes you just need a drink. Don't feel guilty about it and don't apologise for this. Embrace it. There are people out there with worse problems than you. 
If you can't have fun now, when can you? Obviously, if you have to wake up in the morning and have one to get through the day, then I think maybe there is a problem that needs to be addressed. But if not, it's your responsibility as a functioning member of society to have as much fun as you can. Because really, who knows when your situation will change and you have to do boring stuff you don't want to? You just don't know... time could be running out.
Drink on my friend.

YOU COULD BE ON ICE TRYING TO KILL ME, BUT YOU'RE NOT

Often I think I'm insane. Often I wonder if the same thought processes are fostered by those around me and often I think that they are not. This often leads me to think that I'm not normal, ergo, vis a vis, I must be crazy. You know what? I'm not crazy, I'm awesome. This goes the same for you. Have you met you? I have (I assume the only people reading this blog are those I know). You're fabulous. 
Any time you think you are actually losing your mind, just think, I could be on ice trying to kill someone right now, but I'm not. That's a win.

EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON... IN NEVERLAND

This is easily my most hated phrase in the English Language. The only time someone will ever say this to you is if they have no other words of advice or wisdom to impart on your sorry situation. They're stumped. Sometimes bad things just happen. Sometimes bad things happen to good people and there is no rhyme or reason for it.
It's best to acknowledge this and waste no more of your time trying to figure it out or find a hidden meaning. I would suggest getting yourself to a pub instead so you can be surrounding by those that love and support you, like beer. Beer understands.

NO ONE ACHIEVES ANYTHING REALLY

When assessing your life against others, really, what are you looking at? So someone has a house... are they happier than you? So someone got married... do they have all the answers? So someone has the job of their dreams and travels the world... I guarantee you they are missing something else that they consider to be more important. 
Like a puppy. Someone that travels that much can't look after a puppy, their loss.