AS A KID I HAD A VERY REAL FEAR I WAS A DWARF

I’m not the tallest individual and I never have been. You’ve seen me. In school I was always in the front row for photos, the front of the line for 'shortest to tallest' (why did they do that so much when you were a kid?) and always denied entry to the rides I really wanted to go on that everyone else could. Everyone around me kept having growth spurts and I thought I must be due for one soon. Then one day mum and I went to the shops and I saw my very first dwarf... It was terrifying. I had now seen my fate. I was so scared that I didn’t even ask mum about him, I was that certain she was going to respond “he’s just like you.” For three years I kept this secret to myself.

Later, when I was in my last year of primary school, a doctor (just to be clear- someone with a medical degree) asked if I was starting school this year. Like, from scratch. Like I was 5 years old and not the grand age of 12. Mum had to reassure me and explained that he just doesn’t spend much time with children to be able to guess that sort of thing. Mum.... dude.... he’s a GP, he sees plenty of whipper snappers, no need to cushion the blow. 

That was that, I was going to be a dwarf. I resigned myself to the fact that I would just have to use my brain more and that really pissed me off. Fuck all y’all who have good looks and physical abilities. I would have to try. 

Luckily for me I grew 6 inches in two months, so by 13, I was a decent height- the height that I now am. Shut up.

Anyway, my point is this... I was not blessed with the tall gene. I’m the little one. Had I been given the tall gene I actually think I would have turned out to be a different person... Gone would be the ninja who can cut through a crowd with the grace and speed of a jungle cat. Gone would be the feisty remarks and quick wit from the girl with the chips balanced equally on each shoulder. Gone would be the lovely gestures of strangers helping me reach/see/do things I can’t do unassisted. 

I will never be able to see the band playing at a gig. I will always have to have my jeans taken up.... Whatever your lot, it makes you. Embrace it or you’ll pickle yourself.